


The Story from His View

by Sorakuu



Series: The Story Between You and Me [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Kageyama Tobio/Sugawara Koushi, implied kagehina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 16:52:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12236889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorakuu/pseuds/Sorakuu
Summary: His heart couldn’t fully let go of the feeling of loving the white-haired, but Sugawara-san had gave him so much since the day they first met and giving the happiness his loved one wanted was the only thing that made Kageyama silently supported the two to go out.





	The Story from His View

“What do you recommend me having Kageyama-kun, Hinata-kun?”

At the way his name was addressed, he shifted his gaze towards Hinata who’s sitting next to him. The shorter guy was busy explaining the menu, excitedly pointing at his favorite dishes to notice Kageyama’s staring. The setter looked down at his menu, feeling uneasy on how his name rolled out from _him._

“Then, I’ll have this ham risotto” Kageyama looked up and saw _him_ closing the menu “What will you have Kageyama-kun?”

_Again with the –kun!_ Kageyama thought.

Hinata who saw his uneasiness, clear his throat and chose that moment to call the waitress. _His_ attention shifted from the black haired towards the petite girl speed walking to their table. Hinata gently smiled at her and recited their order, choosing to decide Kageyama’s order at his own will. Not that he minded.

After the waitress went back to fetch their order, Hinata began the conversation that was previously stopped.

“So? Where should we start?” he asked, the tone of his voice surprisingly serious.

“Well, I guess I could ask how much do you know about it? I mean Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun are his former Kouhai and you guys seemed to still hang out often” _he_ began, fumbling with the napkin on their table “And the other day, Kageyama-kun and I met at his apartment and-“

“OIKAWA-SAN! STOP USING KUN ALREADY!!” Kageyama shouted.

Kageyama didn’t mean to shout too loud as to direct other people’s attention to him. He didn’t mean to shout out at the top of his lung and disturbed other people. It’s just that his irritation of being address in such a way by Oikawa-san has built up. Adding –kun to his name made it seemed like they’re strangers. Not that he liked to be called Tobio-chan, but at least it showed that Oikawa-san recognized him as someone he knew.

He just couldn’t shake the feeling of uneasiness from being treated like stranger.

“Ah, right… sorry.. I-I um Tobio…chan was it? I kept forgetting to say it” Oikawa-san scratched the left side of his cheek, throwing his gaze to the table.

Suddenly Kageyama felt a strong jab from his side. He turned around and found Hinata stared at him in disbelief. As if silently mocking him with his eyes, Hinata sighed and shook his head. “Don’t mind him, Kageyama’s always weird like this” the orange haired said.

Kageyama wanted to retort and kicked the guy in the face, but decided not to after hearing how dejected Oikawa-san sounded after his outburst.

_What have I done to an amnesiac?_ He thought to himself _it’s not Oikawa-san’s fault that he sees me as stranger_

As if knowing his dilemma, Hinata turned to him and waved his phone before continuing to chat with Oikawa-san. Albeit confused at first, Kageyama fished out his own phone and found a new text message from Hinata.

**From : Dumbass**

**Subject : Chill out!**

_He’s an amnesiac. Still new to things. Relax._

The black haired took a deep breath and exhaled it. He leveled his eyes to Oikawa-san’s, holding his gaze on the hazel orbs. In his mind Kageyama kept reminding himself that Oikawa-san’s lost his memories and differences were bound to happen.

“Yeah, Iwa-chan also said that I have to think of how I feel about Sugawara now and what I want. But frankly I don’t know what to do, with so little information about our relationship” Oikawa-san complained.

He slumped down his chair, looking like a sad, tired, middle aged man coming back from work. They stayed like that for awhile. Oikawa-san slumping with a far-away look in his eyes, while Kageyama and Hinata stare at the brunette with pity.

The waitress chose that depressing time to come back with their food.

“Excuse me, here’s your order!” she said cheerfully unaware of the tensed atmosphere surrounding their table.

“So Kageya- I mean Tobio-chan?” Kageyama flinched and nervously ignoring his food in favor of listening to what the oldest of the three has to say. “You seemed to be close enough with Sugawara, I mean you even visited him to his apartment. Why don’t you tell me something about him?”

Kageyama tensed at the statement.

He swallowed the lump he didn’t know was forming in his throat and stole a glance at Hinata. He could see the orange haired sad expression and how he squirmed in his seat. He knew really well that they will be a time when he had to say something to Oikawa-san about Sugawara-san, but he never knew it would be _this_ hard to actually say it.

Even though both of them were eager to help Oikawa-san remembered his past, telling Oikawa-san how it really happened was tricky. They didn’t want to lie and made up stories just so Oikawa-san didn’t feel like a jerk. But throwing the truth would lead to a self destruction on the brunette’s part.

He exchanged a silent conversation with his partner before agreeing to tell Oikawa-san what he needed to know.

“Oikawa-san, I want you to promise us that if we tell you the story from how we see it –and we will be completely honest with you- please don’t blame yourself or anything. Just think of this as reference on how you should approach the problem” Kageyama murmured.

At a nod of Oikawa-san’s head, Kageyama began

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Sugawara-san! Please wait!” Kageyama shouted out at the middle of the road.

The white-haired guy turned to face Kageyama with a startled face. Kageyama jogged, closing their distance as he tried to still his heart from beating too fast. Jogging only added the reason it pumped so hard, but he was too nervous to slow down. The sooner he reached Sugawara-san, the sooner this will over.

Sugarawa-san tilted his head, smiling as he saw Kageyama approaching him.

“What is it Kageyama?” the velvet like voice entered Kageyama’s ears and suddenly the well rehearsed line he had been chanting for the past two weeks evaporated. He stopped at his track, willing his brain to once again form a sentence for him to say.

Seeing his kouhai’s conflicting face, Sugawara walked towards Kageyama and shook his shoulder gently. “What’s wrong Kageyama? You are scaring me, suddenly stopping like that”

This is it! This kindness! This is what made Kageyama awake at 3 am thinking about those hazel orbs. He stared at the man’s eyes, lost in the warmth and hidden emotion it held. He saw movement in his senpai’s mouth, but couldn’t hear a word. Only the beautiful eyes of Sugawara-san came into focus.

As he saw how concerned the other was with him, he found a sudden courage and blurted out the sentence his heart had wanted to say.

“I like you Sugawara-san!”                                                                       

The sentence caught Sugawara-san by surprised. His eyes widen, his jaw dropped and his hand trembled as he released Kageyama’s shoulder. The moment when you thought _Ah, I fucked up_ never happened to him before now. He saw as Sugawara-san threw his gaze anywhere except him and he saw how the white-haired shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

“Um, I-I appreciated it Kageyama, but-“

“You don’t have to reply it Sugawara-san!” Kageyama cursed how his voice gave up on him at the end. He sounded like he’s going to cry, dammit!

“I-I just wanted to say that. I don’t want to regret not telling you how I feel!” he said even though he’s fucking regretting his life decision internally.

To his surprised he saw Sugawara-san smiled “I’m so sorry I can’t return your feeling Kageyama, it’s just my heart already belonged to someone else”

“Yes, I know. _Oikawa-san_ right?” Kageyama spat out the name.

Sugawara-san’s eyes widen and a beautiful pink dusted his cheeks. “Ho-how did you know?”

Kageyama felt his chest tighten, and felt heavy. He had suspected that Oikawa-san was the one who stole Sugawara-san from him, but he always convinced himself it was only his mind thinking if a worst case scenario that wasn’t true. Seeing how the white-haired confirmed it broke his heart.

“Please don’t tell anyone Kageyama! I don’t want people to know!” Sugawara pleaded.

The raven haired swore to his senpai and he kept it. He never told a soul. But as if hearing it was not painful enough, Kageyama proceeded to stalk the two whenever he could. He sometimes asked himself wheter he liked this short of things, whether he’s a masochist.

His heart couldn’t fully let go of the feeling of loving the white-haired, but Sugawara-san had gave him so much since the day they first met and giving the happiness his loved one wanted was the only thing that made Kageyama silently supported the two to go out.

He had given up on pursuing Sugawara-san in order for the two to be together.

That’s why a news about how Oikawa-san broke Sugawara-san’s heart made Kageyama seen red. He had purposefully step out of the way in order for them to be one. He had given up his desired to be by Sugawara-san’s side only for naught. Oikawa-san got together with another girl, despite Sugawara-san’s effort to be by his side all the time.

It wasn’t the only thing bad about it. Not only did Oikawa-san got himself a girlfriend, he also bragged about it to Sugawara-san. Kageyama knew very well how competitive Oikawa-san could get. And sometimes his competitiveness branched out to other aspect not only in volleyball. In this case, finding out who’s more popular with the girls.

Kageyama would hear rumors from Daichi-san about his former senpai’s love life. He was told in detail how Oikawa-san would sometimes hooked Sugawara-san up with a girl and encouraging him to date her. Like it wasn’t painful enough seeing your crush dating other people.

So Kageyama ran to the white-haired apartment that day, finding how red and swollen his eyes were.

“That bastard! He needs to pay!” Kageyama screamed, as he ran out of the apartment. Sugawara-san’s voice, calling his name in the background slowly faded as he quicken his pace.

He ran towards Oikawa-san’s apartment, frantically knocking the door while shouting his name. After a while, the door knob twisted and the door swung open.

“Tobio-chan? What are you-“

Without waiting for the brunette to finish, the raven haired grabbed him by the collar and pushed him to the wall. Oikawa-san made a pained expression, eyes looking at him with an emotion between angry and confused.

“What the hell brat!!” Oikawa-san in return grabbed his collar and pushed him “Have you finally lose your mind Tobio-chan! You’re looking for a fight huh!”

“You made him cry! You dare made him cry!”

“What do you mean? Made who cry?”

At that moment, Sugawara-san’s words flashed in his mind. _“Please don’t tell anyone Kageyama! I don’t want people to know!”_

He loosen his grip on Oikawa-san and realizing what he had done. Oikawa-san didn’t know about Sugawara-san’s feeling. Sugawara-san hadn’t told him yet. If he suddenly told Oikawa-san about it that would mean he’d break his promise to the white haired setter. He promised not to tell anyone.

And he would not tell anyone, including Oikawa-san.

He released Oikawa-san’s collar and slowly backing up to the wall. He sighed out and slid down. Oikawa-san stared at him in confusion, straightening his collar. Kageyama looked at him and laughed bitterly. He brought his knees into his chest and rested his head there.

“What is this? What’s wrong with you? One moment you almost choked me and then you suddenly looked like you wanted to cry”

Kageyama smiled at the comment. Yes, he wanted to cry.

“I only want him to get the happiness he deserved, I want to help him to get it but to think that you are the one he wanted” Kageyama choked out the words “So unfair”

“Why can’t I be the one to make him happy, instead of this jerk who only knows how to break his heart”

“Hey, you know if you’re not my kouhai I would seriously kick you out” Oikawa-san’s voice got low, threatening Kageyama with every part of his body. “You came into someone’s apartment, choke them and calling them a jerk. Wow, how kids these days acted!” the brunette said mockingly.

He heard Oikawa-san’s feet walking away from him followed by a sound of fridge being open.

Kageyam sat there feeling all the adrenaline he had faded with each breath he took. He suddenly felt weak. Like a balloon that lose its air. Sugawara-san’s crying face come to mind and his heart clenched. He understand how painful it was to have a one sided love, he of all people knew it very well how it would cut open a wound in your heart.

Maybe that’s why he ran to Oikawa-san’s apartment. He knew how painful it was to the point it mirrored his pain. He needed to punch someone in order to forget the pain. He needed to punch Oikawa-san, presumably in the face, so he could feel better.

“Oi Tobio-chan drink this”

He lifted his head to Oikawa-san’s voice and saw the man holding a glass of water. He took it and drank it in one big gulp. “Slow down brat, geez”

Kageyama eyed Oikawa-san took his now empty glass and walked down to the kitchen again. He saw how the brunette walked and a flashed of his junior high school days played in his mind. He remembered how he would see that back from the warm up zone about to make a serve. He still could see Oikawa-san as some incredible human being. Even though he hated the brunette with every fiber of his being for making Sugawara-san cried, he still admired him.

_Ah, so that’s why I let Sugawara-san go_ he thought.

The former vice captain of Karasuno deserved the best, and Kageyama’s heart Oikawa-san was still the best of the best. Maybe the reason he could try to support their love came from his long time admiration towards the brunette.

“Oi how long are you going to sit there?” he heard Oikawa-san’s voice calling “Come inside and let’s talk”

His relationship with Oikawa-san is still sore, but with Oikawa-san in college and him still in highschool, the competitiveness surrounding them lessen.

Kageyama stood up and walked towards the living room of the small apartment, we took a sit at the sofa in front of Oikawa-san. “What’s with this plant?” he asked noticing a small pot on the table.

“Ah, I wanted to have something green in the balcony, so picked this tomato plant. I like tomato”

“I just knew that”

“You don’t have to knew everything about me brat”

Kageyama held his gaze with the Grand King for a while. Seeing how his eyes twinkled in mischief and how a smirk would adorn his face. _What do you see in him? Tell me Suga-san_

“So? Why are you here? No wait, what is wrong with you?” Oikawa-san’s eyes zeroed at him and at how the temperature of the room dropped was proof that he’s still afraid of the brunette. Kageyama gulped before answering.

“What do you think about- no, how’s Sugawara-san’s doing? He’s in the same team as you right?”

And at that moment Oikawa-san’s eyes soften. The sparks in his eyes changed to those of warmth and longing as a small smile crept in his face. It’s one of his rare moments of not smiling down at people. He is sincerely smiling from his heart. And if Kageyama’s heart hadn’t broken yet, it was now.

“Kou-chan eh? Well, I think we did good, I mean he did good uhum” Oikawa-san looked flustered as he thought of something.

“You seem close, from what I heard from Daichi-san” Kageyama scolded his self for making his pain more painful.

“You think? Um, well we are, we are basically best buds”

The view in front of him would be forever burned in his memory. The pink that suddenly appeared on Oikawa-san’s cheek shocked Kageyama. It rendered him speechless. Seriously if someone said Kageyama was dense about other thing than volleyball, they were dead wrong. He never was dense when it’s about his love with Sugawara-san. He can see the small gestures the white-haired made whenever Oikawa-san’s named was mentioned. The blushes, the stuttering, the way his eyes filled with longing.

And Oikawa-san’s reaction mirrored Suga-san’s.

Kageyama laughed bitterly, making the brunette startled. “To-Tobio? A-are you okay? Why are you crying?” the Captain asked.

The raven haired put his finger to his cheek and felt hot water streaming down. He laughed harder and cried at the same time. Oikawa-san looked unsure of what to do before deciding to sit beside him. He awkwardly rubbed his hand on Kageyama’s back in attempt to calm him.

After a while Kageyama stopped, he turned to face his former captain “Please tell me, Oikawa-san what do you think of Sugawara-san” he pleaded.

“What do you mean Tobio?” he asked confused.

“Oikawa-san please tell me how you feel about him” he could feel the tears abput to break free from his eyes.

The brunette stared at him for awhile. He looked uncertain as if deciding to tell Kageyam or not. “Well, Tobio-chan, please don’t tell anyone about this” Kageyama nodded felling some sort of de ja vu.

“I actually realized this only recently but I… towards Kou-chan.. I mean” Kageyama saw how the brunette visibly gulped. “I actually love him. Like romantically”

Kageyama never knew before that people’s heart could be broken for several times. And it felt even worse each time.

“Then why don-“

“No, stop right there. I’m telling you this because I trust you Tobio-chan, I really do. I trust that you won’t tell anyone. No one can’t know”

“Why?”

“Why?” KOikawa-san turned to laugh “What if he doesn’t like me back? What if my feelings for him strained our relationship? I like what we had Tobio, and I’m afraid to ruin it” the brunette slumped down on his seat. Groaning as he combed his hair with his finger, messing with it.

“So that’s why you date someone else?”

“You probably wouldn’t understand this brat, but sometimes people tried to move on by finding another love.”

“Well does it work?” Kageyama raised his voice, grabbing the attention of the brunette “Does it make you forget about him? Does, does your new lover success making you forget about him?” Kageyama gasped as realization came into him “Is the reason you hooked him up with other people, so you can forget about him? If he’s other people’s than you can give up?”

Oikawa-san’s eyes went wide. The brunette threw his gaze away from him, nodding slightly.

Kageyama gritted his teeth and stood up. Stomping his feet in a confusion between anger and sadness. He heard the former setter of Seijou’s footstep following him. The raven haired put on his shoes and opened the door.

“You know he told me the same thing” Kageyama decided to speak “He told me not to tell anyone how he felt, but seeing him crying over you made it hard for me to see reason. I want to punch your face for not seeing how much he loves you”

The brunette answered “Wh-what are you-?”

Kageyama steeped out from the brunette’s apartment after saying “I’m talking about Sugawara-san, Oikawa-san. He’s crying over you right now, but you probably didn’t know that he loves you _that_ much.”

Kageyama closed the door. He heard loud sounds from inside but paid no attention. He walked away from the apartment. A few stepped and he felt someone bumped into him. When he regained his balance, he saw the back of someone he admired.

But for the first time in his life knowing him, the feeling he had when he saw that back was not admiration. It was the feeling of defeat and overbearing sadness. _At least they will be together_ he convinced himself.

That day Kageyama walked home tired with incredible pain in his heart.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“I-I did that?” the brunette mumbled quietly.

“Oikawa-san, it wasn’t as bad as how Kageyama said it!” Hinata tried to cheer the brunette up. He frantically waved his hands around while telling how romantic the couple were or how Oikawa-san was the best boyfriend ever.

But in Kageyama’s opinion it wouldn’t help them. Oikawa-san needed the harsh truth in order to make a decision. “Oikawa-san, I told you this so you knew that at that time you made the best decision” Kageyama started.

The brunette looked up at him. Confused evident in his face.

“At that time you hurted Sugawara-san so much, that he spent his time crying over you. But you choose to fix that by telling him how much you love him. Now, you are in the same position as before, even though in different circumstances. You unintentionally hurt him, and now you need to decide how to fix it.”

“I-I don’t know”

“Yes, you do. I know you do. You just not sure whether it’s the right thing to do or not”

Hinata squirmed in his seat, feeling how the tension between the two doubled. He grabbed Kageyama’s arms, asking him to calm down. But Kageyama smiled at him and reassure him that everyhtings fine.

“Oikawa-san, in my life loving Sugawara-san, I noticed one thing. He would never hate you. Even if things had comes to worse, he would always love you and be there for you. So whatever the decision you made, he will definitely support it” Kageyama said, surprise on how sincere he sounded.

Oikawa-san stared at him for awhile before standing up and left the restaurant. Kageyama saw as his back disappeared. He closed his eyes and sighed. “You fine?” he heard Hinata said.

Kageyama turned to see the spiker beside him. Hinata’s eyes filled with worried and Kageyama couldn’t help but caressed its owner’s hand.

“I’m fine as long as I have you”

**Author's Note:**

> It's been sooooo long since I last updated for this series hahahahah......... writer block can be difficult... Hope you enjoy this story, and forgive how weird and messy this story turn out *awkward laughing* Thank you


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